doom

i really never see it comin.
What can i say?
who should be blamed?
it feels like God gv me a gift and with a blink is gone.
maybe worst.
every very little tiny bits that i merely had,
just vanished.....
and every seconds i still try to convince myself,
is not true.
my courage that i hesitated so long,
seems ntg,
meant ntg.
wasnt anything after all.